When it comes to playtime, it’s always fun to let your kids lead the way. Especially when they want to play with makeup and throw a tea party with dad (The Rock knows all about it). Don’t get me started on how sexy it is to see men fully engaged with their children! Unfortunately, some people have a problem with sheer joy and fun, and one mom on Reddit was tutored by her mother-in-law on teaching her daughters gender roles. The kicker? It was all because her husband — aka the MIL’s son — was playing dress-up with his daughters.
In the “Am I the A-Hole?” subreddit, a mother of 5- and 2-year-old daughters posted about her amazing husband named Chris.
“Chris is a great father and I think he is particularly suited to being a father to daughters,” the mother wrote. “He’s not scared of girl stuff or disgusted with periods, period products, etc. Ever since our oldest was 2 years old he has been more than willing to dress up as a princess and throw tea parties with her. My daughter loves to do this with her dad and he owns so many of these costumes now lol.”
I’ll be the first to say that men shouldn’t be commended for doing the bare minimum, but still. This man is a unicorn and seems to be such a good father.
She continued: “They still dress up together and now our youngest is in it too. He even wore makeup from our daughter lol. It’s the cutest damn thing.”
The mum wanted to share these special moments with her family like you do, so she posted photos of them playing together on social media. Shockingly, she got a “backlash” from her in-laws.
“They accused me of humiliating my husband and treating him like a woman as opposed to the man he is,” she wrote. huh? Men can dress up, wear makeup, or whatever they want. How does posting pictures of her husband playing with his kids “treat him like a woman”? The mother was confused too, and she had the best answer.
“I fired back that my husband is doing it of his own free will and they had to rip her panties open because it shows how comfortable he is with himself that he’ll be eager to jump in to get dressed with his kids.” Preach sister!
Because bullying her daughter-in-law on social media wasn’t working, the mother-in-law decided to confront her in person. With all the troubles in this world, does she still hold a grudge over a friggin’ tea party?!
“MIL then pulled me over it a week ago saying that Chris is a man and boys/men don’t wear dresses and makeup that the girls will see him as their mother one day and he will be publicly shamed” , wrote the mother. “She told me I should never have shared those photos, and I teach my daughters some pretty ‘patchy’ things about gender and the roles everyone plays in families.”
It’s a lot to unpack, isn’t it? “I asked her what she meant and she said that’s what they expect all men to do when it’s very unrealistic and unhealthy to make men behave like women and that they have a strong father figure in their need life and like her son deserves to be the man he really is.”
Let me get this straight. This mother should tell her husband Not playing dress-up with his daughters so their daughters wouldn’t grow up with “unrealistic” reflections of men. So basically teaching your daughters that they will never have a man who respects them or loves their children? And what does a “strong father figure” even mean to this mother-in-law? Because someone who is confident in themselves as a father and spending time with their children sounds like a Marvelous Example of a father for me.
The mother wrote, “I replied that her son is exactly who he wants to be and he is amazing and wonderful and adored by his children.” Good for her for standing up for her husband! Although it’s a bit strange that this mother-in-law was so upset but didn’t even bring her concerns to her son.
Because no brave, confident woman goes unpunished, the mother-in-law had more to say. “She mentioned how hard life would be for the girls if both Chris and I died because no one is going to keep that up for them or teach them it’s okay,” the mother added. “I told her not to worry because I would never let her raise my daughters. This set off a chain reaction of sorts as she yelled at me, then yelled at Chris and told the whole family what I said. The consensus is that I am an AH. Chris told them to fuck off because she spat bullsh*t on me and I shouldn’t have to take it.
Wow! When private dressing didn’t work, the mother-in-law switched gears and decided to instead play the victim, scream and make a scene about how awful her daughter-in-law is. It’s a wonder her son turned out to be so amazing with this example!
Reddit had throughts about this one. “What these kids will learn is that their father loves them and is awesome,” one person wrote. “These will be special memories but there is no world where they are confused as to who has which role I guarantee.”
“NTA, your husband sounds wonderful and has created memories with your daughters that will last a lifetime,” said another person. “Your MIL, on the other hand, is so concerned about other people’s opinions that they take it all out on you. Nor do I want someone who disagrees with my worldview to raise my children.”
Other moms share their sweet stories of great dads in their lives (which also proves that this isn’t an “unrealistic” example of parenting).
“NTA when my son was 3 years old he loved Frozen‘ someone wrote. “We were invited to a friend’s kid’s birthday party who was dressed up, they didn’t have many friends with kids so the adults were expected to dress up too. My son and his dad went as Elsa and Anna and everyone loved it, pretty dresses and all. Keep on being great parents, he does everything right and so do you!”
Others come because of the mother-in-law, who took her grievances to her daughter-in-law instead of her son. “I love how she complains to YOU about her adult son dressing up like a princess,” one person said. ‘Why didn’t she talk to him about it? It seems like she feels that her husband’s behavior (playing dress up) is a negative reflection of her parenting, especially given her clearly strong views on “men are men, men get dirty and work on cars” etc. IMO, Congratulations to you both for being amazing parents to your children. NTA.”
“It’s a wonder your husband turned out so cool,” wrote another. “Yes, playing dress up doesn’t make people women, makes your husband a trans woman (although we love a queen), it just means he has fun with his daughters.” The most “manly” thing you can do is be okay with your body and your choices, regardless of how other people view your manhood. And I wouldn’t want them raising your kids either. She was out of line, she screwed around and figured out what for. She asked and you delivered. Have an extra extravagant tea party just for fun!!!!”
That’s such a good point. Gender roles are so stupid and harmful to the LGBTQ+ community and anyone who wants to raise kind people. Who decided that men and boys can’t dress up, make up or enjoy a delicious cup of tea anyway?
This person summed up our feelings: “NTA. Keep on being great parents.” We couldn’t agree more!
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