Reddit can’t decide if this mom’s casual approach to mornings is casual or inspirational – SheKnows | Wonder Mind Kids

Ah, in the morning. That dreaded time of day when kids turn into sloths and nothing can get them out of bed. It doesn’t matter that they wake up at the crack of dawn and feel perky and perky on the weekends. There’s something about that Monday-Friday grind that keeps them dragging (I mean, same thing). A mom on Reddit got fed up all to get her kids out of bed and out the door to school, so she just… stopped.

On the Parenting subreddit, a mom of two elementary school students decided she would break away from the stressful morning schedule and give her kids more responsibility. Which is certainly a choice!

“Well, I have 3 children, 2 of whom are of school age. I saw a video the other day where a father didn’t do anything for his kids,” she wrote. “He said it was all her responsibility. That got me thinking.”

So she brought her 10- and 8-year-olds into the kitchen for a family chat, where she laid down the law.

She said, “I won’t wake you up in the morning anymore. I’ll help you set an alarm tonight that will also tell you the weather, so dress appropriately. Nor will I choose what your clothes will be. You pick them and if you’re cold at school or you forgot your jacket then 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not telling you to brush your teeth or take a shower. Then you want to stink🤷🏻‍♀️.”

This can backfire – will they develop cavities? Do you enjoy being the smelly kid in class? – or work really well. But she goes even further in her quest for independence.

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“The car leaves at 7:25. If you’re not there, it will be without you,” she continued. “If I come back and have to give you a lift, you pay for the gas with the housework. Your laundry will now be washed by you and put away by you. Then you have crumpled clothes or no clothes for school🤷🏻‍♀️.”

If turning on fun music doesn’t work and choosing clothes the night before doesn’t help much, what else can parents do to help their kids wake up? I definitely understand the motivation if not the method.

“I had absolutely no idea I was doing so much for her and it was causing me stress,” the mom continued, adding that she felt like she was always saying, “Wake up, wake up, please wake up.” on. Get dressed, brush your teeth, get a sweater, do you have your homework, blah blah blah.”

“My morning now is to wake up, brush my teeth, brush my daughter’s hair and go,” she added. “Not only am I less stressed, but I actually teach them responsibility and independence… which I didn’t do at all. What a pleasant relief.”

As a mother of an elementary school student and a preschooler, that sounds like a dream! It wouldn’t work for my son though… he had a period of being late on purpose, and even lunch detention didn’t upset him much.

Some people on Reddit thought the mom was being a little dramatic with her rules.

“That’s how we grew up too, and I think it helped in many ways to make me a self-sufficient, confident person (31f),” said one person. “I truly believe our children are more capable than we think they are. However, I didn’t wake up one day and dump my entire morning routine on myself. It has been a gradual transfer of responsibility in a way that has empowered me and prepared me for success, rather than weighing me down at too young an age.”

“Yes, there is a fine line between teaching independence and being lax,” wrote another. “OPs on the right track but I don’t see much teaching in the post. All I see is letting go of responsibility.”

This is true. You want to make sure you’re doing this for your kids to help them — not as a punishment for lugging them in the morning. After all, even adults can have a hard time waking up in the morning.

Some people liked the approach with one tweak: Don’t skimp on their basic hygiene.

“I tell my kids that hygiene is non-negotiable. When they grow up they can choose not to shower or not take care of their teeth,” one person commented, adding, “Kids don’t like being told what to do and they don’t want to feel like they have no control over everything in their lives… but sometimes we need to make sure they understand WHY we need to get them to do things like brush their teeth and take care of their hygiene.”

“In my opinion there is no lesson in letting children go out dirty, with dirty clothes, or without appropriate clothing for the weather, etc. It’s neglect,” said another. “Of course it depends on the child’s age and ability. But an 8-year-old, for example, will often not understand the consequences of going out without a coat. And as others have pointed out, dental hygiene is very important and can have lifelong negative effects if not maintained.

It’s a decision, maybe OP’s kids can do everything on their own and just needed the opportunity. There is also choosing your battles. Kid wants to wear princess dress to school, good. Child wants to wear the same shirt from yesterday that is still reasonably clean and smells good, good too.”

Others pointed out that this approach does not work for all children, even those in the same family. “My daughter has been taking care of herself since she was born, that’s how it feels. That wouldn’t be a problem for them,” said one person. “My son? With his executive function issues? He would be an 8-year dropout. It’s great if it works for you, but this approach won’t work for everyone. Especially not dropping everything at once. I bring my kids each a new skill I don’t see why I would have children and then choose not to raise them.”

Addressing some of the comments with an edit, the mum wrote: “I’m shocked at how this post turned out. I’m not sure how neglectful and CPA worthy it is for my kids to do 3 things (wake up, get dressed, brush their teeth) every weekday morning, but to each their own.”

She also clarified that she gave her children what she felt she could handle. “They woke up with alarms, they brushed their own teeth, they even got dressed by themselves (I know, shocking that an 8 and 10 year old can dress himself),” she wrote. “They also know how to shower alone. I STILL brush all my children’s teeth with dental floss at night…now they are only responsible for the mornings. I STILL feed them and do homework/study with them every day after school. I STILL read to them every day. I’m not just going to throw them to the wolves without either teaching them or knowing that YOU can do it on your own. As a SAHM, my children are literally 100% my life. I’m not burdened by them, just felt like I was hindering them by doing what I knew MY CHILDREN could do on their own. “

We can all agree that parenting is hard. There’s definitely more than one right way to do things, and sometimes it’s all about figuring out what works best for your family!

These celebrity moms make us all feel better sharing the ups and downs of parenting.

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