The father of a girl with ASD, fed up with his SIL’s unsolicited parenting advice, finally scolds her and is called an idiot – Bored Panda | Wonder Mind Kids

Perhaps all parents are aware that parenting is both a great joy and a great responsibility, children give us a whole range of emotions, from joy to sadness, and these emotions do not always come directly from the children themselves. as you’ve probably guessed, other people’s judgments.

For parents of children with special needs, facing such judgments is particularly insulting and painful—after all, the judgment often comes not only from complete strangers, but sometimes from those who didn’t have children at all and don’t know what it is is like. And then, when the parents’ nerves can’t stand it any longer and they break down, they are simply accused of incompetence. All in all a common story.

The same happened, for example, to the family of this man, nicknamed u/Blue_seaAndsky, whose story in the AITA Reddit community has collected almost 900 upvotes and about a hundred and a half different comments in a few months. Incidentally, doubly insulting to the author of the post, it turned out that the conviction in his case came from one of his family members. However, let’s talk about each in turn…

More info: Reddit

The author of the first post has three children, two boys and a 4-year-old girl

Photo credit: Daniel Walker (not the actual photo)

So, the author of the post and his wife have three children: two boys aged 9 and 7 and a 4-year-old girl. The OP’s youngest daughter is autistic and non-verbal, so the parents try to adapt her life and activities to her needs – for example, they have set up a sensory room in their house where the child feels comfortable and where he spends most of his time.

Photo credit: Blue_seaAndsky

The girl has ASD and parents are doing their best to make life easier for her

However, raising children with special needs is like an iceberg, because most of what parents have to do is simply not visible to strangers and even many relatives. That’s what happened at the OP. One fine day when he and his family were visiting their parents, his brother and SIL were there too.

Photo credit: Blue_seaAndsky

During a conversation at the table, the OP’s mother asked how they planned to celebrate the upcoming birthday of her eldest son, who was about to turn ten. The OP’s wife said that she and the boys will go to a theme park where the children will ride the train for the first time in their lives. The SIL asked where her daughter would be at that time and the OP explained that she would stay at home with dad because large crowds are so overwhelming.

Photo credit: Blue_seaAndsky

The father’s SIL stated that the girl should be taken to the amusement park with her older brothers as it was “unfair” for them to stay at home

In response, the SIL unexpectedly stated that it wasn’t fair to the girl because her brothers were having fun and going for a walk in the park while she stayed at home. The OP tried to politely explain to the woman the ins and outs of the nervous system of children with ASD and that it would be better for the child’s mental health to stay at home while the older children consciously asked for this trip to the theme park.

Photo credit: Blue_seaAndsky

It seems that the conflict was settled, but after a while the SIL again stated that the OP and his wife were bad parents since they denied their daughter the joys of going to the park with the whole family. According to the woman, they look cruel to their daughter and do a terrible job as parents. In addition, the SIL literally demanded that the girl be taken for a walk in the park as well.

Photo credit: Blue_seaAndsky

Offended by unjustified accusations, the man told her that he didn’t appreciate parenting advice from people with no parenting experience

The OP’s nerves couldn’t take it anymore. He literally silenced the SIL by saying that he and his wife would not appreciate being criticized by people with no parenting experience. Apparently, the man found a “pain point” in his opponent, because she and his brother were in no way able to conceive a child, and they raised money for IVF. Anyway, the woman was offended and fell silent while the brother called the OP an idiot and said he definitely crossed the line.

Image Source: Dushan Hanuska (not the actual photo)

People in the comments almost unanimously sided with the father, claiming his SIL was incompetent and abusive

Of course, the vast majority of people in the comments sided with the original poster and his wife in this conflict. Some commenters said that in this situation, being autistic themselves, they know very well how difficult it would be for a child to travel to a crowded amusement park. Furthermore, according to the commenters, it seems that the OP and his wife are accommodating their child rather than excluding it, and their SIL has absolutely no right or reason to tell them otherwise.

According to commentators, it’s also a classic when people stick their noses in places they don’t belong and the wrong thing is said. Yes, the original poster’s reaction might have been a bit exaggerated as it touched on a sensitive issue for his sister-in-law, but either way it was wrong as on numerous occasions it initiated the conflict itself.

We’re pretty sure you’ve already decided who’s right and who’s wrong in this particular story, so don’t hesitate to leave your comments below the post.

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